


Suits and Buttsex

by Sanguinifex (Eros_Scribens)



Series: The Bisexual Awakening of John Fitzgerald Byers [2]
Category: The Lone Gunmen (TV), The X-Files
Genre: Anal Sex, Bisexuality, Canon Era, First Time, First Time Topping, Friends With Benefits, M/M, Sexual Experimentation, Snark, Tie Kink, condom use, not enough lube
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-02
Updated: 2019-06-02
Packaged: 2020-04-06 18:10:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,243
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19067926
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eros_Scribens/pseuds/Sanguinifex
Summary: Langly is bored and horny. Byers is a proximal, if not necessarily convenient, target. A "straight" dude has to at least know how to stick it in, right?





	Suits and Buttsex

**Author's Note:**

> Byers says/thinks some well-intentioned but mildly offensive things that are honestly pretty typical of baby queers. It's like 1997 or something; he's not going to magically know all the right things right off. He's still getting used to "so I'm into a dude"!
> 
> (Everyone was this bad the first few months after they figured out they were queer. Everyone. I guarantee it.)

Langly was being Langly.

Byers had hoped he’d forget about the ‘incident’ with the suit and go back to being his usual annoying self, but no, this was worse. Any time Byers came close to touching his tie—which happened a lot, quite innocuously, because he didn’t usually wear tie tacks and so it kept flopping onto the desk when he sat down, and then he had to tuck it in, and wow that was starting to sound like the kind of metaphor Sister Bernadette used to tut-tut about in AP Literature—Langly would look at him and raise one eyebrow, and Byers couldn’t help blushing a little bit.

Eventually, Byers cornered Langly at Langly’s desk. “Will you please stop that?” he asked, voice pitched low enough that (he hoped) Frohike wouldn’t hear.

“Stop what?” asked Langly, raising his eyebrow _that way_ again.

“You know. The thing. Looking at me. And…thing,” said Byers, pointing to his own eyebrow.

“Having a case of delayed gay panic?” asked Langly, just barely audible over his CPU fans.

“What?”

“Yeah, yeah, you’re totally not homophobic, you’ve just decided you’re 100% straight, not that there’s anything wrong with being, you know, and can we forget about that regrettable experiment?”

“What? No. You’re just…being weird, and it’s weird. –Ing me.” Byers ran a hand through his hair. Words. Wasn’t he supposed to be good at them?

“God, you’re a dumbass. I was angling for a repeat performance. Or possibly a sequel.”

“Huh?” If Langly had ever needed a visual example of the human incarnation of a stuck loading screen, he now had one.

“I mean,” Langly said, checking whether Frohike could see them from this angle, and then grabbing Byers’ tie, “that I’m bored and horny.”

Byers flushed to the roots of his hair. “Oh.”

“Yeah. My room?” Langly thought it would probably look like Byers was taking a look at some piece of computer junk he kept there.

Byers swallowed nervously. “Sure.”

Langly twisted out of his desk chair, pushed past Byers—taking the opportunity to slide a hand down Byers’ chest and cup his junk—and then led the way without a backward glance. Byers followed, hoping the tent in his pants wouldn’t be too obvious if Frohike looked up.

By the time (a stunned) Byers passed the door, Langly was already stripping out of his jeans.

“Well, shut the door already,” he said.

Langly kicked off the last pants leg and then, nude from the waist down, began rummaging around in his nightstand. Looking for a rubber, probably. Byers looked around. The entire wall was lined with boxes of computer parts, except for a couple of boxes that seemed to hold clothes. The nightstand was a real nightstand, if cluttered and battered, but the bed was just a futon on some shipping pallets. The futon was bigger than Byers’ twin bed, though. Absentmindedly, eyes returning to Langly’s bare ass, Byers began to shrug off his jacket.

Langly straightened up from the nightstand and tossed Byers a small object. Byers caught it. It was, indeed, a condom.

“You do know how to use that, right?”

“Yeah.” Byers squinted at the packet. ‘Ultra-thin pre-lubricated’ whatever, but it seemed to be something what he’d used on the very few occasions he’d needed to before, and the expiration date was a few years out.

“Well then act like it,” said Langly. “Refresher? You roll it on. You do not turn it inside out for gay sex.”

“What?”

“Just put it on.”

Byers did. The latex rolled on, slippery under his fingers, smelling like rubber bands and off-brand window cleaner. Byers tried not to get any of the slippery stuff on his shirt tails. He tried not to think about all the possible reasons why Langly might be insisting on a condom. Always before, with women, he’d been able to say it was mainly contraception. He hoped now it was just a general performance of safety. Or habit, or easy cleanup.

It was on. Byers had pretty much no idea what to do now. Well, he had a general idea of “insert penis in butt,” but that wasn’t much to go on. There was probably porn of this kind of thing, somewhere, but he’d never looked for it. How did two men’s bodies slot together?

And then Langly grabbed his tie and pulled him down to the futon.

“Fuwagh!” said Byers, catching himself on the mattress and bumping his head into Langly’s something. Really, it was a wonder the condom didn’t fall off. They untangled themselves, and Langly got his glasses settled on his face.

“Are you actually planning on fucking me?” he asked, tugging the tie a little less hard.

Just like taking a woman from behind, but a little higher, Byers told himself, as he knelt behind Langly. There was a moment, even as Langly’s ass rubbed deliciously against his tip, when he thought it wouldn’t go in, and then it did, and Byers let out an entirely undignified noise as the heat and pressure closed around him. Langly’s ass wrung him almost to the point of pain, and it was _so good_ , sparking heat and color and pleasure in his stomach until Byers wanted to just stay like that forever.

And then Langly tugged his tie again and said “C’mon, dude, move.”

Byers almost lost it right then. The tug on his neck seemed to travel right through his body to the tip of his cock, and he thought the pleasure would burst and spill just from that, but it fell just short of the tipping point, and instead, Byers lay panting on Langly’s still-clothed back.

Move, Langly had said, so Byers moved.

This part was familiar. Thrusting was instinctive, drawing back and pushing his cock into the soft flesh surrounding it, even though he could have done with a little more slick, as Langly clenched around him, chasing his own pleasure, and squeezed him so hard that he hissed. His balls tingled, tight and heavy; it would have hurt to stop, and if Langly had suddenly changed his mind about Byers’ desirability, Byers would have involuntarily rutted into the bedsheets. Langly’s hold on his tie was a constant pressure now, forcing him into one angle. Byers’ arousal glowed like a sun rising, and it was going to explode, scorching the earth with carnal fire. And that was probably supposed to be bad, the wording downright Augustinian, but Byers shoved that aside, intent on that pleasure, and he toppled over the edge and spent, as his fingers dug into Langly’s hips. It was almost perfect.

Not quite perfect. It never was. There was always a part of him that felt restless and backed-up after, even as the rest of his body automatically relaxed. Byers thrusted a few more times, trying for one last clench, but he was already beginning to soften. He had just the presence of mind to grab the edge of the rubber before he slipped out.

Byers dropped the used condom off the side of the futon and rolled over onto his back. Langly had rolled in the other direction, avoiding the wet spot—which had to be all Langly, Byers realized, because rubber.

“Was it good?” Byers asked.

“Yeah,” said Langly, for once too blissed out to be sarcastic.

“How do you enjoy taking it…?”

“It’s called a prostate. I’ll show you sometime. Also? Go take a nap in your own bed.”


End file.
